Coffee Time Lessons

I have written a lot on the blog over the past couple of years about lessons that I learnt.  As an educator, I always try to keep an open mind and grow with the times.  Today however, in a clouded mind as a result of a really early kid wake-up I am reminded in a few parenting lessons I have learnt.

1. Nothing attracts vomit or spit up like a nice clean shirt;
2. A child who wakes up very early is surely to fall back asleep five minutes before the alarm goes off;
3. Only 46% of food given to a child will actually end up in their stomachs;
4. The week you are broke is the week your child will need money for a school project, function or fundraiser; 
5. The phone ringing mid-day at the house means either someone wants to sell you something or that your child is in trouble;
6. Hard plastic toys have a way of being stepped on at the most inopportune times (then again is there an opportune time to kill your foot?);
7. The parenting trifecta is to be pooped, vomited and snotted on in the same day.  Your not really a parent until this happens;  
8. Never will you be more needed than when you are trying to have sex.  Kids always wait until you are just getting to the fun part when the cry comes.  Even if you have an empty house, you just know the phone is going to ring;
9. Showers and baths are timed events didn't you know.  Add to that speed toileting and we could have our own parent Olympics; and
10. Just when you are about to kill em' or put up for adoption or sell them into slavery, they do something cute to remind you of why you put up with all this stuff.